As a conscientious student home-bound by homework, I rarely have the time or energy to worry about my clothes. I hate shopping so much that my mother always buys things for me to try on at home. However, I’ve recently realized that college life will make this practice unsustainable. Although my experience sounds pitiful, I believe that I’m not alone in my desperate efforts to understand the fundamentals of fashion. I hope to discover the patterns, symmetry, and other mathematical elements that make outfits flattering.
After my extensive research, I decided I was ready to put expert advice into action:
Once I arrived , I headed with purpose to the food court. Mother said to never shop on an empty stomach. After trying hard to delay the inevitable, I mournfully finished lunch and went to Macy's.
After my extensive research, I decided I was ready to put expert advice into action:
Once I arrived , I headed with purpose to the food court. Mother said to never shop on an empty stomach. After trying hard to delay the inevitable, I mournfully finished lunch and went to Macy's.
Oh, how I love sales!! One thing I particularly loathe about being a teenager, besides the acne, stress and altogether awkwardness, is an empty wallet. My impeccable patience and general unwillingness to shop has made me an expert in outwitting stores and buying clothing at the right price! If you want a real bargain and don't mind making a few alterations, I suggest shopping at thrift stores and other places off the beaten path. However, if you're short on time and lack the patience to find the diamond in the rough, there's something for everyone at the mall.
After trying on the first dress, I was a little disappointed. I initially liked the colors and elastic waistband that helped accentuate curves, a pear shape's best asset. However, the cut was a bit too low and I felt that the color should have been closer to my neck, especially since the dress would be very difficult to coordinate with jewelry. I liked how the denim jacket offered a contrast in textures and complemented the dress's colors. However, a shorter jacket just above the hip line would have been more flattering. The shoes, which you'll see in many of my photos, were from Payless Shoes. Their versatile color makes it easy to pair with almost anything. Also, the triangular design helps to elongate my foot and give me a taller appearance. Trust me, at 5'3" I can use all the height I can get:) I dream of finding the perfect wedge heel to give me a little height, but cookie cutter manufacturing hasn't worked in my favor this year (not that I've diligently looked).
Really Kevin?! I think he dropped the ball on this one. The moment he took it off the rack, I knew there was no way I could pull this off. Much to my dismay, I was right. The over-sized skirt is where my problems began. The bulging pockets and lack of structure further prove to the world that I am utterly short. I like the vertical lines of the shirt, but the length is much too long for the skirt. By this time, I was too tired to even think about another trip to the racks. The blousy top would have gone well with my skinny jeans. Unrelated side note: I remember the days, when shirts weren't see through. Unfortunately, that was a long time ago. With Walmart to the rescue with $1.68 camisoles I can relive my days of modesty! Quote from Miss Prim and Proper, "Looks frumpy."
My final piece: Scarves elongate, stretch and lengthen a petite frame. The gray blouse is a universal color that works with a lot of scarves and jewelry. The horizontal lines at the top balance out a wide waist. The blouse appropriately overlaps the hip bone. This scarf is a gift from my aunt. By now, I think you can see the common trend that my family feels bad for me and is trying desperately to make me look pretty. In conclusion, after my day at the mall, I still don't like shopping. I'm pleased to note that my sentiments are shared: I do not like Black Friday, sir I do not like the brrr, grrr, whirr I do not like to fight over socks, I do not like to get crammed in a box store, you will not see me at the Mall I do not like it, no, not at all. The crazy, scrambling, hunter’s race Doesn’t fit my ambling, gatherer’s pace I like to feel, I like to sniff I like to take my time and if I take more time than Sally and Sam It’s the way I shop, and it works for me, ma’am. So you will not find me camped outside the store You will not find me standing at dawn at the door You will not find me wedged in the mall’s lot Or crammed in traffic, with wares newly-bought. For I do not like Black Friday, friend. Well, except online shopping maybe – they’ll send. – Karen Molenaar Terrell (originally published on humoristianity.wordpress.com on 11/21/2012) |
I'm thirsty, tired, and want to go home. How can anyone enjoy this? |